VIP

What do you wear when your life is about to take a quick twist to better days? A Nordstrom suit of course, deep blue, with a white shirt underneath. Just so you don’t forget who you really are—bordering on anti-establishment and crunchy granola at heart—carry around a purse with silver skulls embedded on the skin.

So today you spent an oppressively warm summer day inside an even more oppressively hot convention center. The suit wasn’t a particularly good idea, but the event is one of the highlights of your month—you wanted to look good for today. More importantly, you wanted everyone to know that you belonged to that place. Nobody told you that you had to wear a badge stating your VIP status. You and the Development Director are receiving a $10,000 check for the non-profit.

Before any of that happened, there was a luncheon for you and the other grantees, honoring and celebrating your presence. Once you approached the buffet, you saw one of the people you worked with. You had a flashback of working weekends, all hours, at this same event center. You always wondered what it would be like to be the one getting up to get more food at the buffet, rather than the one refilling the food, and taking the dirty plates away. Now you know what it feels like, being the one who wears a suit, power shoes, and feeling like a VIP.

killing it

I just got off the phone with the Executive Director of Seattle Education Access. He invited me to join the Board of Directors of his organization. What else is there to say?

Yes!

Another goal bites the dust, all before I'm 30.

Peggy Olson

My department makes $6 million annually, and I'm directly in charge of 60 people. Not an army of minimum wage workers, mind you, but well-paid, union-backed employees. All of this before I'm 30.
A few years ago I was in charge of 100 people, but these are people who made minimum wage and the working conditions are so dismal I get PTSD thinking about this job.

I want to be able to feel pride in myself for such a huge accomplishment. When I was a kid I never imagined I would be directly in charge of 2 people, but 60? 60 is a huge number, and don't get me started on how my management team boosted sales between 35-55% every month.

I don't know if I'll ever stop feeling like Peggy Olson--that lingering feeling of neither here nor there, or feeling like I have certainty with who I am, and my place in the world. I should be proud of myself, I'm officially the most successful sibling in my family.

Before the age 30, and I'm the chief of an army--and it doesn't stop there. I put myself through college, I paid thousands of dollars of my own money to get my Bachelor's degree without any debt. The piece of paper when it arrives, is paid for free and clear. I'm the only one in my family who accomplished that feat.

Why am I not happier with my accomplishments? I feel as though something huge is still lacking in my life, although I can't put a name to it. It's the Peggy Olson syndrome--being young, female, and not knowing what to do, and where to go, despite being told however many times we can do whatever we want.

What a myth.

Fin

When I was a child I always wondered what "Fin" meant when a cartoon, or a TV show ended. I always thought it was an anti-climactic way of ending things. I would have preferred "goodbye," although I'm not very good at ending things either.

I received my last evaluations for the last paper I'll ever write to receive my Bachelor's degree. One month ahead of schedule of course, and somehow things feel a little bit undercooked. I almost want to submit another essay because I'm not quite done with everything, and I think I would have felt more "done" so to speak of my graduation ceremony didn't happen before I sent my paper into the matrix.

After August I will be fully matriculated with a Bachelor of Arts degree. I can't believe how easy it was to accomplish this lifelong goal. More so, I can't believe it took me this long to get this out of the way. Before graduating, I had every intent to get into a post-grad program by September, but now, with the summer moving into closure, the last thing I want to do is go back to school.

I cancelled my enrollment at the UW for a web development program. Not to say I've changed my mind, but the timing doesn't feel right. Work is becoming an Olympic event, and I just put in for an application for a staff writer position at our corporate office. I just moved in to a new place, and a birthday is coming up.

Too many changes in one plane, and frankly, all I want to do is eat a croissant au chocolat and catch my breath.