Peggy Olson

My department makes $6 million annually, and I'm directly in charge of 60 people. Not an army of minimum wage workers, mind you, but well-paid, union-backed employees. All of this before I'm 30.
A few years ago I was in charge of 100 people, but these are people who made minimum wage and the working conditions are so dismal I get PTSD thinking about this job.

I want to be able to feel pride in myself for such a huge accomplishment. When I was a kid I never imagined I would be directly in charge of 2 people, but 60? 60 is a huge number, and don't get me started on how my management team boosted sales between 35-55% every month.

I don't know if I'll ever stop feeling like Peggy Olson--that lingering feeling of neither here nor there, or feeling like I have certainty with who I am, and my place in the world. I should be proud of myself, I'm officially the most successful sibling in my family.

Before the age 30, and I'm the chief of an army--and it doesn't stop there. I put myself through college, I paid thousands of dollars of my own money to get my Bachelor's degree without any debt. The piece of paper when it arrives, is paid for free and clear. I'm the only one in my family who accomplished that feat.

Why am I not happier with my accomplishments? I feel as though something huge is still lacking in my life, although I can't put a name to it. It's the Peggy Olson syndrome--being young, female, and not knowing what to do, and where to go, despite being told however many times we can do whatever we want.

What a myth.