Three of swords

I didn't get the internship job I interviewed for last week. Yesterday, I received a big, fat 'F' on a paper I worked really hard on. I thought the metaphor I used as a nucleus for my paper was clever, witty and well wrought. My professor thought it was a joke. I've never received an 'F' before, certainly not in a paper I shed blood, tears, and sweat over. I'm glad he thought it was a joke, considering I've received nothing but A's in his class. I keep wanting to cry. My heart is broken so many times this week I can't believe I'm still standing, and not doubled over in pain and grief.

Is there a silver lining?

I hate that expression. I'm a born pessimist, and I don't consciously look for the positive in bleak situtations.  A few days before that, I found out I was disqualified for a scholarship, because I didn't have any dependents. In the language of the Tarot cards, the three of swords meant heart break. if that were true, I have three massive swords sticking out of my chest.

I have another interview with Dream Company. I can't help but think the cosmos is pushing me towards a writer's life. I cancelled an interview with a magazine, because I was convinced I was going to get the business internship instead. I'm looking for cues somewhere, and maybe I can find answers.

Maybe the drops of blood will reveal the answers.

Wishes, gathering strength

My borrowed laptop won't allow me to access my own blog which explains my absence. Another thing that could explain my absence is the sudden burst of good fortune in my life for which I have no explanation. My Dream Company called me not just once, but twice for job interviews. The first one happened over the phone on November 6 at 11 AM. The next one will happen on Nov. 27 at 8 AM.

How did I get so lucky? Such intense and amazing luck begs to be understood and examined; I'm still walking around viciously questioning how I managed to slip past the gates to get not just one, but two interviews.

A Humanities major with zero technical and mechanical skills.

I'm interviewing with one of the biggest STEM companies in the whole entire world. I know quite a few people who would kill for my slice of good fortune.

But is it really good fortune?

I read somewhere that success if 90% showing up. Trust me, I was showing up. I showed up even if I didn't know I was invited to the party.