Chief

Looking at my April calendar view and the blank square spaces are already choked with events to go to, things to do, and people to meet.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a Type A Virgo, and nothing pleases me more than a calendar loaded with activities, and more importantly, a giant to do list that is getting crossed-off one by one. Largely the reason why I've been AWOL on my own blog is my overwhelmingly busy (and self-inflicted) busy calendar. This month alone, I'm helping plan two events at the non-profit where I'm both a student and a board member. One is a cocktail-type fundraiser for the aforementioned non-profit, and another is an end-of-the-year celebration for students of the same non-profit. I was volunteered as an emcee of the first event, and the second event, I'm helping plan with three other board leaders.

Overwhelming.

On top of all of this is the craziness that descended upon my department like biblical locusts. I told a colleague that somebody dropped bad juju on my department and it has infested almost everything. Today was my day off, and the night before, I slept fitfully--my dreams were bizaare and panick-y and needless to say I woke up tired, so tired.

Did I mention I'm trying to work out everyday?

I signed up for this workout regimen fittingly called, Insanity, and let me tell you, it's enough to make me mad. I know exercise is good for you but not if every minute is pure torture and pain. I'm seeing a pattern here: I really like to punish myself.

I'm having the worst writer's block on Earth.

The quarter, my second to the last, has finally started and I can't seem to produce the same amount of work I did last quarter. Okay, I've read 4 books out of 5 in my reading list, and I've written 3 (really good) essays but I don't seem to have that constant stream of inspiration that I had last quarter, and the one before. I'm afraid the Muse has walked out on me for wearing her out, treating her like a slave.

I'm also frustrated at work.

I'm waiting for a promotion and a $3 raise that doesn't seem to want to happen, and I'm feeling stagnant and bored and I want to do more. Besides, I hate picking up the phone and having people ask for "my manager," when I am one, and it's not official yet, as far as the company books are concerned. Truly, I hate having to defer some of the decision making process to other people. I'm very independent, and I have a giant arsenal of business know-how to run a department but my job title gets in my way.

It's serendipitous that I just finished reading a book about the first woman Cherokee Chief, and I found that no matter how tough things are, sometimes, they do get better.